Wednesday, June 02, 2004

OK, I know I shouldn't be suprised by the INSANE acts of many people these days, but every now and then I find a story that both makes me laugh AND makes me want to grab someone and shake them stupid (stupid-er?!?!?). And now, let me introduce the newest of these stories:

PORTLAND, Maine (AP) - A Portland woman accused of spreading dog feces at Deering Oaks Park as part of a vendetta against its weekly farmer's market has been banned from the park and charged with criminal mischief.
Lora Leland, 53, was caught early Saturday emptying 16 bags of dog feces in the road that winds through the center of the park, police said. She explained that she was angry at the Saturday morning farmer's market because it interfered with her ability to ride her bicycle through the park, police said.
At 3:30 a.m. Saturday, the officers spotted a woman walking a miniature German shepherd down the middle of the park's interior road. The woman was reaching into a large plastic shopping bag, removing smaller bags which she would open and then dump the contents onto the roadway, Knight said.
The woman said she would collect the small baggies with dog feces from city garbage cans over the course of the preceding week as well as stockpile it from her own dog, then spread it to disrupt the market, police said.
Complete story here

Two things:
1. Poop all over the road doesn't hinder your ability to ride your bike?!?!

Listen peeps, I am all about expressing yourself, responding to social injustices, etc etc etc. AND I'm in favor of the occassional flaming "bag o' poo" deposited on an unsuspecting person's porch for grins and giggles. I just don't understand this particular expression.

One more thing: does the word "poop" make anyone else smile. It does me. EVERY SINGLE TIME!!

I'm still experiencing stomach aches--presumably from the GR water. Thanks to Jen for helping me to not feel like a total IDIOT when she commented a few posts back that my tummy irritations might very well be connected to H2O. I drank a lot of it today--augmented by working out some and needing more than my own saliva for.... Oh never mind. That's disgusting. Sorry.

Speaking of water and working out, I'm still swimming consistently. I'm trying to work up the endurance for this tri-athalon thing in September. We've been having a disagreement about the distances at the pool though. A couple of friends swam in high school and are convinced that one "lap" is once down the lane. But another person, who is also training for this cursed thing, thinks that one "lap" is once down and back. The sign at the Y says that one mile is 36 laps. That doesn't clear anything up though. I still don't know what constitutes a lap. Regardless, my goal is to be able to swim a full mile by September.

That's 36 laps--however you define a lap.

I've made it to 3 up-and-back's.

I'm in trouble.



I moved to Michigan at the perfect time for basketball. Pistons vs. Lakers. I'll admit, I cheered last night watching the game in a sports bar. Yep--I have been frequenting a sports bar. The very abominations I planned to boycot. Every other place I end up going to is so diverse and "underground" that I don't feel too bad about it. Balance is the key. (Not to mention, I've been getting the hook-up lately at his place, thanks to Elizabeth's sister. Mad props!)

Hap-Hap-Happy Birthday today to Wayne Brady. I hate that stupid "Who's Line" show, but I have always thought he was funny. He's only two years older than I am. Wow--even typing that hurt me physically!

And my apologies to a couple people whose b-days I missed yesterday! Two highly influential musical artists: Alanis (same age as I am.... grrrrr) and Pat Boone (over double my age--though probably infinitely cooler than I will ever be. Check out his heavy metal covers sometime if you get the chance. "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "Enter Sandman" were highlights. I'll try to find the links and provide them next time.)



Monday, May 31, 2004

At the risk of publishing the entire novel, I have to give another passage from "Turning Thirty." I've spent today literally laying around, bouncing back and forth between reading and napping. And this book is written the way I think and want to communicate. That said, enjoy this simple glimpse into Gayle's--and for that matter, my--mind.

(Quick context: at his best friend's thirtieth bday celebration. He's just met this big group of friends...)
"They all seemed nice enough people, really, but I didn't feel relaxed because I was the only single person in the group. It wouldn't have bothered me so much but a couple of times during the evening I tried to interject a reasonably interesting anecdote into the conversation and suddenly the discussion would veer elsewhere. Under normal circumstances--i.e. when you've actually got a girlfriend with you--it's possible to continue your anecdote without fear of looking (a) stupid, (b) boring or (c) both, because you know at least one person will be polite enough to listen. But as i sat there, open-mouthed, half-arsed anecdote still dribbling from my lips, I suddenly felt incredibly alone. I wasn't good at talking to new people at the best of times--large groups of new people were my worst nightmare. I think that was one of the things that attracted me to Elaine--the way that she wasn't the least bit fazed or intimidated by the new: she could go to a party and not know anyone, but within half an hour she'd have a circle of people hanging on her every word. I think that's why I liked the idea of old friends so much--they're the only people who don't turn every conversation into a popularity contest or a marathon of monologues."

Someone today--an online friend--asked a very fair question:

"Do you have a lumpy head?"

When many of us think about a bald person, we conjure up images of those ones who have the strange rock (calcium??) formations scattered across their "bare landscapes." I was a little worried about that too. I hoped as I was shaving my head the very first time that I wouldn't discover some horrible variation of hills and valleys under my hair. My biggest worry was having a large indentation somewhere that might gather water and serve as a travelling bird bath.

But I'm fortunate. A pretty smooth and non-treacherous surface area.

I have tried--and failed--about a half-dozen times today to post a picture, but something continues to be wrong and I get the same cursed error message. Guess the internet can't handle my mug (and smooth pate) scattered around. Probably not a huge deal though--there are only 6 people who read my blog anyway and four of them are great friends who have seen me a billion times anyway. For the other two, I'm confident you will be just fine.



Current song: "Love Song" by The Cure.

Had my first HDTV experience last night. I went to some random party/get-together at this guy's house I didn't know. There were about 15 or so people crammed in this little living room, staring at this crazy big tv. The Pistons were playing. And I must admit--I was impressed. There really is a big diference.

Current song: "Cool It Now" by New Edition.

Insane rain! It's been raining for two weeks non-stop it seems. Last night it was raining so hard I had to pull the car over and wait. I couldn't see anything. And I was pissed. The rain isn't cooling the weather off--it continues to be a little muggy and it's impossible to keep the windows open. As I've already mentioned, the weather affects my mood. But this barrage of rain has just made me mad.

Current song: "Swim To Me" by Parker and Lily.

Great excerpt from the Mike Gayle book that I want to share. Allow me to give you a context. He has recently broke up with a girlfriend--but is doubting the decision. So, in an impending fit of meloncholy, he goes shopping. (Not the most typically masculine response, but.... one I can appreciate nonetheless.) He draws a correlation between his approach towards clothing and what he wants in a girlfriend/wife.

"This didn't mean that I didn't like anything new. I did. What it did mean was that the new things I let into my life were mostly variations on the old things that were already in my life--variations on a very strict theme.... at twenty-nine I knew exactly what kind of woman I wanted. I wanted one like I'd already had in the past but without the annoying bits. I wanted someone I already knew--but who didn't know me so well that my imperfections would put her off. I wanted someone with whom I could just be me. But, like the elusive item of clothing you create in your mind's eye--the one that's the right color, the right shade, the right style--the girlfriend in my head wasn't available and that alone made me feel like giving up on shopping forever."

Profound but kind of convicting. I agree--and wish I didn't.

Exit music: "Little Kids" by Kings Of Convenience.


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