Friday, July 16, 2004


I'm not sure what has happened in the past couple weeks, but I am having a TON of visitors boarding thebaldtrain. I've had four double-digit days in a row. I'm starting to feel the pressure to actually write about something with substance, instead of my life. I'm going to have to make up some things to make my life appear radically different than it is...

I went skydiving yesterday--I also hitch-hiked across the good old state of Michigan so that I could run the way back. On my way home, I ran down an elk and mauled it with my bare hands. I carried the carcass home and invited hundreds of people over and we prepared the meat and had a late night feast. I fell asleep in the arms of a few beautiful maidens, staring up at the moon in all its created splendor.

I hope at least one person on the planet will believe me.

I actually drank a bunch of coffee, ate indian food and got my a$$ beaten in putt-putt by Amish Aaron. We ended the day by seeing "Anchorman." It's the kind of day that doesn't look impressive to anyone--but it was seriously a great day of re-creation. I feel like a new person today--although a little tired. There is something special about being with him. We are trying to do that once or twice a month.

We also went to my favorite thrift store yesterday: Daddy-O's. She's a woman I have gotten to know, since I stop in at least once a week. She's been trying to locate short sleeve shirts for me. Amish Aaron made out though--he left with like 6 shirts and a belt. And she's always working a deal--yesterday she knocked off like $6 from the total. I'm supposed to take a couple people around to some places tomorrow afternoon. I've lived here for 15 minutes and I'm turning into the vintage resale tour guide.

Is 2:30 too early in the day to be drinking a beer? I wanted a snack--chips and salsa--and did all the prep and sat down to chat with c@it for a while. I got up to get a drink and realized the fridge is empty except for beer and soy milk. I remembered that I needed to buy bottled water. You see, the water from the tap here tastes like BUTT!!! And, for those of you who have followed my blog for a while, you know how I have reacted to the water around here. For some reason, I continue to have a dull stomach ache after too much tap water. Sucks because I really try to stay hydrated. Anyway, when I realized I had nothing to drink with my chips and salsa except for those two choices, I stood with the door open, debating. I kept thinking about the scene in Anchorman involving milk. I won't expound, for those who have yet to see it (C@IT!!!!! grrr). So I elected to go with the beer--Fosters. Which, as we all know, is Austrailian for beer.

Those Aussies......

Top 5 Places On The Planet I Want To Visit:
1. Austrailia
2. Alaska
3. Italy
4. Singapore
5. Shreveport, Lousiana

OK--I better finish my beer and do something productive today. I'll write more later--when I wake up from being drunk in the afternoon thanks to my fridge being empty...


Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Current song: "The Hotel Song" by Josh Ritter.

Looks like the wireless dilemma has been taken care of. I mentioned it to my landlord and got the typical "Dude, let me check into that." That's the same response I got when I mentioned the leak under the kitchen sink, the broken shower spout in the bathroom, the fridge's little water leak and the lack of screens in the kitchen windows. He's checking into all of those--and has been for three months.

I can't believe I have been here three months already. I'm halfway through my fourth months already--it's gone really quickly. There was a staff party today and it made me realize, though, that I am still new here. It was kind of "depressing" actually. Even around the people that I work with, I am pretty disconnected and "lonely." I don't know if that's just me and my own "loner tendencies," but it was a good reminder: three months isn't that long! I still have a lot of people to meet and ways to become established ahead of me.

Amish Aaron is coming to visit tomorrow. We are spending the day together reading and studying and talking about stuff we have been learning. I couldn't be more excited!! I expect one day we will both be teaching in college and have this strange academic connection, even when we are in our 50s. Someone said to me last night (a girl actually--yes c@it!! I TALKED TO A GIRL!!!!): "You are the college professor type." I asked what she meant and she says: "You are the most well-spoken person I have ever met--and you smoke a pipe sometimes." I would like to be a prof one day. I'm sure every one who moves in that direction says something like this, but I think I could make my subject fun. I'd either want to teach literature or theology. I am sure I will always be involved in music--it will always be a part of my life, but it's becoming more and more clear that I won't be able to make music my living. I am both not talented enough and music is changing so quickly. One day I will be like the boomers I see today who think what they are doing is cool, but have no idea about anything that is current. Sucks to think about--even harder to embrace.

Current song: "Motown Answers" by Arab Strap.

Time once again to check into the "Top 20 Search Terms" and see how people are landing on the baldtrain.

1. she-pee glastonbury photo
2. Gerbil in a light socket video
3. playboy women of walmart
4. the golden sounds -tuba -brass -swahili -tribal -silence -silents -R.K. -oldies -irish -barber -cards -1976
5. Tianenman Square massacre

OK--couple of comments. If you haven't yet seen the Gerbil video, you are missing out! The demented JoeCartoon site (located under my links, on the right) are unlike anything else I know of. And I take a big risk suggesting you see them--they are likely to change your perspective and opinion of me once you see them and know I endorsed it.

Second--why come to me when you search for women of Walmart? I wouldn't even be the guy you should be directed to for "women of 7-11" or "women of Rite Aid" (though I will admit, I did see a cute girl in the Rite Aid at the end of my street a couple weeks ago).

And who in their right mind enters in 32 words to a search engine, hoping you will find something? What's up with #4?

"the golden sounds -tuba -brass -swahili -tribal -silence -silents -R.K. -oldies -irish -barber -cards -1976"

What is that? There must have been millions of hits. I did suggest The Golden Sounds as my artist of the week, so I understand why that person showed up on my page. What I don't get is the huge variety of words entered in the search.

Current song: "Novocaine For The Soul" by The Eels.

OK--probably time for a new artist, since I've mentioned it. I'm wanting to suggest plenty of things for people. And today, I am suggesting a band that I cannot get enough of. c@it and I have bounced back and forth about how much we like this band: Metric. It's great girl-synth-rock. She's a captivating singer with a really good band and HUGE HUGE HUGE hooks. These songs I cannot get out of my mind! And the great thing is, I don't want to. I want to keep singing the songs. They make me feel good when I listen to this music. It's upbeat and makes me move my head a lot--because not much else on me moves when the music starts going. (I'm much too self-conscious for anything else.) I'll admit--the music itself is sometimes a little too simple and predictable. And yes, it does sound like 80s electro-pop at times. All the same, at least once a week I listen to an entire record.

Metric also has a pretty good website, where you can hear pieces of each of the songs on their newest record, see some live show photos and read reviews from various music mags. I highly recommend Metric for anyone who is embracing the "return" of 80s pop culture, but isn't ready for the androdgynous lead singers. Emily is definitely female!

OK--no one is on my buddy list. Guess that's a sign for me to go to sleep. Hope all is good in your world. And in the words of the greatest personality to ever grace the face of television, Ron Burgandy:

Stay classy!


Tuesday, July 13, 2004

It's been tough to blog consistently thanks to my wireless being all screwed up. I haven't been able to get online for about 4 days now. I hate admitting how much it has bothered me.

That said, thanks to you guys for visiting--the blog has officially catapulted over the 1,000 visitors mark. wooooo hoooooooooo!! Congrats to whoever was number 1,000. Sorry to whoever was 999.

Had an early morning breakfast today at Bob Evans. I haven't been to one of those in at least a decade. I remember why. I feel like I ate right out of the garbage can! Not to mention I had about 36 cups of coffee. How can a couple eggs make you feel so CRAPPY!?!?!?!?

current song: "Lucky Denver Mint" by Jimmy Eat World.

For those who haven't been following the Oxford English Dictionary the past couple years, allow me to introduce you to a couple of the newest members to the collection of words now considered "common" to our vernacular.

1. Va-va-voom: the quality of being exciting, vigorous, or sexually attractive.
2. Blue-on-blue: an attack by one's own side that accidentally harms one's own forces.
3. Congestion charge: a charge made to drive into an area, typically a city center, that suffers heavy traffic.
4. Cybercrime: criminal activities carried by means of computers or the Internet.
5. Designer baby: a baby whose genetic make-up has been selected in order to eradicate a particular defect, or to ensure that a particular gene is present.
6. Flash mob: a public gathering of complete strangers, organized via the Internet or mobile phone, who perform a pointless act and then disperse again.
7. Plasma screen: a flat display screen that uses an array of cells containing an inert gas that emits ultraviolet radiation when ionized to form a plasma, causing visible light of an appropriate color to be emitted separately for each cell of the screen.
8. Speed dating: an organized social activity in which people have a series of short conversations with potential partners in order to determine whether there is mutual interest.

A couple of those words I have NEVER heard used in conversation before. However, I DO plan to use va-va-voom as often as possible now.

Was driving to the abysmal breakfast this morning when I noticed a "shop" for the first time. An "adult book store" with, admittedly, an entertaining name:

The Pleasure Chest.

OK--I need to work and chat with c@it a little bit.

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