Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Currently playing: "I Never Knew You From The Sun" by Innocence Mission.

Things are going ok here. I'm swampped with the Christmas CD release this weekend--I've had so many meetings to prepare for it and even did a newspaper interview... Surreal. So excited though--can't wait for every person on the planet to get one!

Stuff with the fam is going alright I guess. I will get to see them for an extended Thanksgiving in Indy so I expect that will be good. Thanks for those who sent kind words--I know it's a strange thing to try and "comfort" someone or whatever. I appreciate even knowing that someone cares (?) so thanks....

Currently playing: "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight" by The Postal Service.

I saw one of the saddest things yesterday. I witnessed "the handoff." It was in the Burger King parking lot, where I was waiting in line to assuage my french fry craving. I saw a dad tossing a football in the parking lot with a little boy. It seemed like a strange place to be doing that--I remember I thought that immediately. As I kept waiting, I noticed the boy pointing to a car and then walking over to the man and giving him the football back. Then both the faces changed and the postures were markedly different. A woman hopped out of the car that was pointed to and stood by the back door after having opened it. The boy hugged the man and the man whispered something in his ear. The boy walked towards the other car, hugged the woman and got in. Neither the man or woman said anything to each other--or even looked towards the other. The man's car left quickly and then it was done.

I know that I'm blessed, lucky, etc--whatever your beliefs or lack-of allow to call that. I haven't had to experience the pain of a divorce and bouncing back and forth between parents. But one other reality in my life is that I've not been especially close to anyone else who has had that experience either. None of my good friends were the children of divorce. That seems unbelievable to me--as "common" as divorce is, it seems so unlikely that I haven't been closer to it. But when I saw that interaction yesterday, my heart hurt. It was one of those realizations of how common something can be, but how it's being "normal" doesn't negate how horrible it is. Common and really sad can co-exist.

Exit music: "Muzzle Of Bees" by Wilco.


Sunday, November 14, 2004

My mom's mother (grandmother) died yesterday morning. I'm in a weird mood... I wouldn't say I was close to her--I actually haven't seen her in a years. But there has always been this admiration for her and the life she lived for her children. Unfortunately, it was unspoken....

I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the funeral yet--they have yet to decide on the details as far as I know. How bad is it to worry about work and travel and all that. I feel like I should only worry about how quickly I can get to be with the family. But I don't....

Weird week. I feel all sorts of bizarre, often conflicting things swirl around inside me. Yet I find myself remaining surprisingly optimistic.... Could I actually be tip-toeing closer to becoming a better person??

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