Sentimental Valium

A successful person may be a man or a woman, of any race, who has been able to accumulate money, power and renown through his or her own accomplishments (rather than through inheritance) in one of the myriad sectors of the commercial world (including sport, art and scientific research).

Wow. When I read that this morning, I had these co-existing feelings of disgust and depression. I hate the idea of that being accurate. It makes me sick to know I live in a world that defines success in merely tangible ways. It also depresses me because I'll probably never reach that level of success. I don't think I wholeheartedly buy into that definition, but I can't help but be somewhat effected (affected?) by this mentality that surrounds us and drives our world. It's amazing to think that in B.C. Greece a man was frowned on for knowing how to count and 18th century European "gentlemen" were celebrated for knowing how to dance. (Though this still seems to be a significant value for many females I know.... Just one more area where I fall horrifically short.) I understand that the definitions and principles for distributing "status" continue to change, but I'm struggling to figure out how to rise above. I hate how even people close to me look at the "impact" someone has on their world by the amount of money they make or the "name" that is made for one's self.

Maybe being nameless and "unknown" isn't so bad after all though....

Currently playing: "Thirteen Grand" by The Wrens.

Couple of comments for my fellow bloggers. First off, my good friend (who I never EVER get to chat with anymore) c@it. In regards to your current academic situation, remember one simple truth that guided me through all my struggles with ALL versions of math and science: YOU CANNOT SPELL "PERIODIC" WITHOUTH A D!! Keep your chin up little camper! You are still one of my favorite uber-smart people on the planet.

Now to the artist extra-ordinaire: Liz. Two things for you--I'm most definitely NOT a "babe" but thanks for the comment. Secondly, when can I expect some more of your work to be demonstrated? I might not have a lot of expendable income, but I wasn't joking about wanting a painting of some sort for my own! I still ADORE the Monopoly piece from a while ago. (It's actually the desktop on my other computer....) So let's go--I'm also impatient.

Lastly, my good friend and blogging mentor: Scott. Scott recently went through something I can't even begin to imagine--the death of his best friend, his dad. I used to serve coffee to Scott and his dad when I worked at a certain large coffee shop chain that uses a mermaid-like figure as it's logo. That's where I met them both. Few people made me smile and forget about the hell of foaming milk like Scott and Larry. Scott my friend, I still don't know what to say. Please know that I am thinking about you and your family often and still look forward to making a trip back to Chicago and buying you a drink (of the adult persuasion) and processing life with you. You are a valued friend and partner and I miss seeing you.

I'm sure there are more people who deserve to be mentioned--sorry for either forgetting or running out of steam. (Both are accurate.)

I've felt really impatient and annoyed lately---I can't figure out why. And I've felt really bad about it--even thinking about it now makes me feel really ashamed and embarrassed. I've been really short and mean with people. I hate being that way...especially when I can't figure out what the problem is. I hate blaming my actions on like being too busy or needing to get more sleep or alone time.... I just want to accept that I've been a jerk. I need no excuses. I just need to respond to people better.

Currently playing: "Daisy Glaze" by Big Star.

To answer a question that's been asked a few times about the impending Christmas CD I just finished up. The official release date will be November 21st. The easiest way for the blogging community to get a hold of it would be through musicatmars.com They will be $10 each and 100% of the money will go to help under-resourced children here in West Michigan. We'll have more up on the site soon about the project--there's nothing there right now, I'm afraid. But we'll have pics and stories and rationale etc etc etc... All that stuff in the next two weeks. Otherwise, I think that answers the questions people have had. (and thanks to Tory for contributing 8 cents to my checking account recently...)

Currently playing: "I'm Afraid Of Americans" by David Bowie and Trent Reznor.

I've been re-reading "The Catcher In The Rye" this past week. For a long time, I've considered it one of my favorite books of all time. But this time around, I'm feeling less enamored with it. I still think it's funny, but I don't know.... It seems much more self-indulgent than I remember. But I think it's also because I used to identify with Holden. But as I'm reading it now, I realize I don't want to be like him. I don't want to be as judgemental and insensitive and impatient. Maybe that's why my current interactions with people are bugging me so much--I have Caulfield as a backdrop. I'm still enjoying it--there are still plenty of moments that are profound and meaningful. But maybe I'm growing up.... what a surprise.

OK--even of the introspection for one post. It's time for something upbeat. I think I'll go and rent the first season of "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" and allow myself to laugh at dumb adult cartoons.

Exit song: "Got To Get You Into My Life" by The Beatles.

posted by -tr0y- @ 4:29 PM

Did everyone celebrate Friday? It was a big day for the earth--did you do it? If not, make sure you mark it down on your calendar for next year. It would really disappoint James Ussher (1581-1656) if we didn't take advantage of his predictions. Ussher was the archbishop of Armagh and made these grandiose biblical interpretations about the age of the Earth. Although modern geology strongly disagrees, Ussher declared the birthday of the Earth as October 23, 4004 BC. I hope that next year we will all remember to celebrate--I'll even volunteer to bring the pinata.

I love pinatas!

I got to have some sushi the other night after we finished up in the studio. That put me in a great mood to start the weekend. Few things make me happier than eating sushi. Is that strange? It seems a little bizarre to me actually when I think about it. When one thinks about comfort foods, sushi doesn't end up fitting into that category very often. Ice cream, chips, chocolate, etc etc... Those make sense. But raw fish? Not to mention it doesn't end up being very convenient. You can't easily decide "I want some yellowtail" and run to the fridge and chow down. I'd love to learn to make sushi though--I've actually considered taking a class at some community college or something to try and learn. I'm just afraid it will end up being pretty expensive....

Why does everything come back to money?!?!?

Why does everyone have a camera phone? I asked someone that today (she will remain nameless....) and she said "Cuz a lot of people have them." That's exactly the kind of problem-solving I am looking for.

Another question: Lindsay Lohan. WHY?? Is this girl everywhere right now? Seems like every magazine has some big spread of her--she's on all kinds of covers. What has happened to make her such a cultural icon??

I'm debating some costume choices for Halloween. I have a couple of different parties to go to and I want to make sure I do it up right. I'd love any suggestions.... (As long as Mr. Clean is NOT one of the suggested costumes....)

In the past couple of days, I've experienced a pet peeve multiple times. There are a surprising number of men who leave the restroom without washing their hands. Does anyone else notice this? Am I just overly OCD? Do women struggle with their bathroom hygenie as much as men? Now, I can understand if someone is in a rush and HAS to leave as quickly as possible--I mean, if their booth is on fire or they have to rush someone to the hospital as soon as they have taken care of their "business"... Those are understandable reasons to not wash. But what I don't get is why these guys stop in front of the mirrors to fix their hair, but not to wash their hands. Have they managed to take care of "stuff" without the use of their hands? And do I really want to run my fingers through my hair RIGHT AFTER MY HANDS HAVE BEEN DOWN THERE?!?! This doesn't seem to cross their minds. Evidently it's more important to feather your hair again than it is to protect the rest of mankind from your body's germs.

Of course, I don't have nearly the courage to say anything--I would rather complain annonymously on a blog.

If you haven't ever listened to "Kings Of Convenience" you should. As Ron Burgandy might have said, "If you don't think they are the greatest band in the history of the world, I will fight you." They have been great chill-music for me the past couple days.

Final thought from "Status Anxiety": We may be happy enough with little if little is what we have come to expect, and we may be miserable with much when we have been taught to desire everything.

posted by -tr0y- @ 10:58 AM

It's done. The Christmas recording is finally finished. I know it might not matter as much to others as it does me, but this is something that I've been "obsessed with" since late June. We spent about 10 hours back in the studio on Thursday getting the project mastered (cleaning it up essentially--finishing touches) and I have been able to listen to the final product a couple of times through. It's turned out to be a pretty great recording. I'm really happy with it. I feel like I'm on it too much and wish it included more people, but that's something I've learned and will hopefully do better with next time.

I'll write more tomorrow (day off!!!) but wanted to give a track list and get some info out to people. The recording will be available in three weeks.

"...to the world" Track List
1. O Little Town Of Bethlehem
2. O Come All Ye Faithful
3. Angels We Have Heard On High
4. Hark! The Herald Angels
5. Joy To The World
6. Silent Night
7. O Come O Come Emmanuel
8. What Child Is This
9. This Is What Christmas Means (an original song)
10. Joyful Joyful We Adore You
11. Everyone (Merry Christmas) ... another original

Feels good to be done. Now I should have more time for next favorite past time---BLOGGING.

right!

posted by -tr0y- @ 6:02 PM