Saturday, April 30, 2005

Currently playing: "The Man Who Would Be King" by The Libertines.

Been a while since I gave a dream run-down. Not much new I'm afraid--more of the same.

Dream One
I'm driving in a car with two people I don't remember down a winding driveway, hitting every stupid pot-hole when I notice there is a strange armadillo-like creature sitting beside the driveway that we almost hit. Then something falls on top of the car, presumably from a tree, and slides down the rear window. Of course, it's a gigantic snake. Only this snake has the face of Catherine Zeta-Jones (who was talked about on Conan right before I fell asleep...) and starts to bang it's celeb-face against the window, trying to crash through and "get me." (I'm such a repulsive pansy in my dreams--I cry a lot and do more "feminine" screaming than I want to admit.) Soon I feel something creeping along my leg and it's a smaller green snake, waking up from its bed under the backseat. As soon as I see it, the cursed reptile bites me on the thigh. This is the new wrinkle. I never get bit in my dreams. I'm just scared of the snakes but nothing ever happens. This was a strange slow-motion sequence where I saw the teeth actually pierce my skin and then slowly pull out and the snake turns to make eye contact with me, giving me this strange knowing glare and then lunges for my arm and gets me in the forearm. I do that National Geographic grabbing of the snake behind its head and force it's mouth open and start to pull it from under the seat. I eventually toss it out of the window and then I panic because I'm sure the CZJ snake will make its way through the open window now. Then I woke up.

Dream Two
I'm backstage somewhere, waiting to be introduced to play guitar for something/someone. I'm feeling really calm and deserving. The backstage is filled with people who don't seem to be worried for me and are just lounging around sipping drinks and chatting. I hear a song start to end, evidently my cue, and start making my way to the stage. The door I open ends up being a balcony filled with people, who all see me, and doesn't lead to the stage after all. I try a ton of doors, all failing to get me where I want/need to go. I start hearing the introduction, all these kind words about me and how excited this person is to have me there..... I'm sprinting around and can't find the stage. There's no one to help me either--just a bunch of shrugs and blank stares. I hear the introducer finally say "Well, I guess we don't know where he is after all..." and then I woke up.

Interpret away friends.

Poker night last night. It was, once again, a bad financial investment for me. I lost $10, but actually lasted pretty late into the night. At least I wasn't the first one out... I eventually served as DJ and realized I should stick to that instead. Sure is fun though--had probably a half dozen Avalanches, which makes just about everything better.

In my continued attempt to purge the world of crappy music, I suggest this song. A fantastic, though possibly overly-myopic, idea was born by Sufjan Stevens not long ago. He decided to put out 50 albums, each one a tribute to the 50 U.S. states. He began with his home state: Michigan. He has recently finished #2 in the installment: Illinois. The mp3 offered today is a track, entitled "Come On! Feel the Illinoise," from that record. Beware: it's a strange sort of vaudevillian pop, complete with show tunes-like piano and Sinatra-like background singers. Very entertaining and unique. Give it a try and throw your Nickelback cd in the fire immediately.

By the way, if anyone who reads this regularly listens to Nickelback, I expect a genuine and heart-felt apology from you in my comments section. And don't fear--there is hope on the other side of those horrible Canadian rockers!!

Found 2 great news stories that I wanted to pass along.

School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon

CLOVIS, N.M. - A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry,'' school Principal Diana Russell said.

State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff's Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.

In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semi-circle, straining their necks, awaiting news.

`"There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door,'' said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.

After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.

'"The kid was sitting there as I'm describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he's thinking, 'Oh, my gosh, they're talking about my burrito.''' Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

"He said, 'I think I'm the person they saw,''' Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.

`"We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos,'' Morrissey said.

After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office.

"The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. It was a laughter of relief,'' Morrissey said. "Oh, and I have a new nickname now. It's Burrito Boy.''

R.I. Police Say Man Offered Steak for Sex

WOONSOCKET, R.I. - He didn't have any money. But police say that didn't stop Wayne Glaude, 22, from soliciting sex from an undercover officer Thursday night. Instead, police said, he offered steak.

Glaude, who works at a meat company, tried to strike a deal with the undercover officer, according to Detective Capt. Luke Gallant.

"He didn't have any money, and had a couple of nice T-bones sitting at home,'' Gallant said.

Glaude, of Woonsocket, was arrested and pleaded innocent Friday in Providence District Court to a count of soliciting from a motor vehicle. He was released on personal recognizance.

Gallant said Woonsocket police had never had a case like it. "I can honestly say it's the first time,'' he said.

Both stories make me hungry. Lunch time.

Stop listening to mainstream radio. It might cause impotence! (so I've heard...)


Friday, April 29, 2005

I begin with some sad news: my #2 Celebrity Crush has found someone to replace me. I heard about it and had it confirmed by Lori yesterday: Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. What is my Katie doing?! It's a 16 year difference too--it's only a little over 6 for she and I! Of course, it's probably my fault--I'm the one who never called back; I'm the one who didn't want to be affectionate in public; I'm the one who was hesitant to tell other people about our relationship; I was the one who wanted to keep our professional earnings separate in case "something" happened.... And now, I'm jealous.

I guess it's what I deserve.

I'm sorry Katie--I mean it this time.

Top 5 Celebrity Crushes
1. Alyssa Milano (It all started with that damn "Who's The Boss?" She is the first girl I can remember thinking "I'd do anything..." Regardless of crappy movie and TV-show and commercial choices, my infatuation hasn't changed.)
2. Katie Holmes (There is something really striking about how "simple" she appears to me. There's something very natural and unpretentious about her that I can't stop looking (aka staring) at. I couldn't get into Dawson's Creek though--probably a good thing....)
3. Elisabeth Shue ("Adventures In Babysitting" might have changed my life. I am sure I watched it close to four billion times. I think it's the eyes and facial expressions that keep me mesmerized! There's this scene in "The Trigger Effect" where she is hugging really tightly onto Kyle MacLachlan..... Forever imprinted on my brain.)
4. Alicia Silverstone (The Aerosmith videos.... Didn't like the songs very much--wanted to see the videos ALL THE TIME! "Crying," "Amazing" and "Crazy"... Loved them all. Didn't like her part in that terrible Batman & Robin movie as Batgirl or her choice to do that awful movie with Brendan Fraser, Blast From The Past but... I'm willing to forgive her thanks to the part she played in my MTV life.)
5. Rachel McAdams (Hot Chick was a horrible mistake, but The Notebook was not. There are a couple smooches in that movie that I should never be allowed to see again! She's my most recent addition to the list, bumping out an old favorite from 7th Heaven.)

Band names do a lot for me. If you liked the Constantines, and wished they were a little more "thrash-oriented," this is another Toronto band to consider: I Can Put My Arm Back On You Can't. 3 mp3s to tempt you here.

Don't listen to mainstream radio. You will suffer!


Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Been forever. I'll simply give a calendar review.

April 20
Flew to South Carolina with Amish Aaron. In the GR airport, we saw one of AA's acting heroes: Tony Danza. We flew first to Detroit and ate at an over-priced Chili's. (I know... I know....) The Detroit airport is nice! I had to sit in the middle seat on both flights. On the second flight I listened to Aimee Mann and Amish Aaron slept a little. It was great to see my dad when we landed and our luggage actually made the flight--unlike my Christmas trip.

April 21
Woke up eventually and drove my dad to work and took his truck to the Isle of Palms beach. We sat around and enjoyed the sound of the water and the last few hours of the sun. We walked around town and kept convincing each other we were really on vacation. We then drove around and found a little Irish pub, advertising Aaron's fave beer: Caffery's. Turns out they don't serve it--just have it on their windows. We ate there anyway and had the first of many Black and Brown's. We then sat in a Starbuck's and read for a while. Eventually we drove home and spent the night with the Playstation.

April 22
My birthday. The three of us woke up and drove out to Folley Beach to enjoy the sun. We threw around the frisbee, layed on the towels, read some. We ended up eating at a little place outside (crawfish tails) and then hitting up a surf shop. Finally we walked along a fishing pier and then headed to take my dad to work. Aaron and I went to Sullivan Island and looked around and stopped at Poe's Pub (Edgar Allen that is) and had, you guessed it, another Black and Brown. Then went and got ribs to celebrate my life and then hit Starbucks again for a while before heading home.

April 23
We woke up and headed back to Sullivan Island and toured Fort Moultrie (sp?) for 3 hours or so. Then went to So Cal Burritos and then drove to a huge family fun park kind of thing for a hotly contested mini-golf tournament. (Which I won, as it should be!) While at this family-friendly place, a young man was struck in the forehead by a golf ball that his buddy smashed out of the grass. After stumbling around a little bit, the struck-one flung his putter at the striker and connected with his shins. A fist-fight-like skirmish broke out so all the little kids could see a good old-fashioned drunken brawl up close. We eventually left and bought some stuff to make our own Black and Browns at home. Made a few, ate dinner and watched The Village which Aaron had never seen.

April 24
Last full day. Went to "tour" a submarine, destroyer, Coast Guard cutter and aircraft carrier. Spent 6 hours or so looking around. Probably the only two guys I know who would do that with me for so long. Went home to dad's specialty meal: cajun chicken and dirty rice. Ate too much and played more Playstation. Unhappily packed for the early flight and went to sleep.

April 25
Woke up at 4:15am. Drove to the airport to catch a 6am flight. Landed in GR around 9:45. Amish Aaron left for Indiana and I headed into work to see how much was waiting for me. Realized it's a lot and decided to wait for the next day.

April 26
Went back to work, trying to unbury myself from under a ton of voicemails and emails. Went to get Thai and see Patty Griffin with @m. Both were fantastic. Plus the new Ben Folds album came out.

That brings us to today. I'm finally finding the time to update this cursed blog--AND I'm choosing to do this instead of going to the Motley Crue show. That's dedication boys and girls. Just the kind of guy I am....

For those in the area: @m and I will be playing in the usual place on May 27th. We're gonna plan on some new songs and would love to see anyone who wants to show up.

Been listening non-stop (well--that's hyperbole....) to a couple artists you should be listening to also: Archer Prewitt and Louis XIV. If you want people to think you are cool (and let's be honest--who of us doesn't have that as a deep desire that closely outrivals all others?!) then you need to purchase both records and blast them so others can hear what you're listening to and realize the music they like actually sucks.

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