Sentimental Valium

Currently playing: "Burning The Cow" by Earlimart.

Obviously changed the look of the place. Thad recently complained to KK and I about having the same template. I've been wanting to change stuff up for a while, but just haven't done the hard work of looking for or writing new codes for templates. Until I do that work, I'll use this generic one for now. If you have suggestions about new templates, pass them on. My html mentor c@it is pretty busy and has already given me two. I'm not gonna keep bugging her for something new every time I get restless about how things look--which is sure to be pretty frequent.

Playing: "Send Me An Angel" by Real Life.

I have a very big soft spot in my heart for 80s electro-pop.

The show last night went really well. Thanks so much to the people who came out. I know Adam, James and I really appreciated it. It was really fun to look around and see so many different people come out. After the show a bunch of us were hanging out over at a bar, whose name I can't spell, and this girl I've met a few times asked a great question. She says, "When you see all those people who came to see you, do you think about how special you are--do you think about how all those people came out to see you?" I have to admit, I didn't think that. But once she brought it up, I did feel special--I felt really lucky/blessed/fortunate (depending on your specific worldview). I mean, I see it now. A Friday night and this crowd of people could have been doing anything, anywhere. For some reason, they decided to come out and listen to a bunch of songs I have been trying to write. That is a big deal! I don't want to just take for granted to people decided to come out. If you were there, THANK YOU! Also, you cannot miss Adam next time. His songs are great and he's one of my favorite singers.

Playing: "Bones" by Radiohead.

OK, an update from the dream world. I had a lot of feedback after my last post and a few different interpretations about teeth falling out. Well I had another one and it was similar to the last dream. I was in a big crowd of people and I took a drink of something and noticed that one of my teeth were loose when I bumped it against the glass. I started to panic and was pushing against it with my tongue, like you do when you're little and just can't leave a loose tooth alone.... When I got up this morning, I decided to really try to figure this out. That's the second time in a week that I've had a dream like that.

One of the consistent insights had to do with appearance. Then I made the connection. Each of the dreams happened during the night's sleep following a couple hours out in public. This past week I went to the thrift store and record shop and then out to dinner with a couple people. Last night was the show and at the bar afterwards. There is no denying it--I am pretty self-conscious. (To some extent, we all are...) I catch myself alot, especially in public settings, wondering how I'm looking; looking around to see if people are watching me; checking my clothes and stuff like that. Maybe that's not very uncommon and everyone does it. I have this sense though that I think about it too much.

One of those interpretations said something about being worried about how you look in public--about how people see you, what you're wearing, if there is something wrong with you that you can't see, but everyone else can see obviously. Like it or not, that's me. So maybe, in the dream world, that anxiety is coming out and being manifested in my teeth's refusal to stay confined to my mouth. Either way, I'm wanting to figure out how to be less consumed with that stuff in public.

Thanks to Lori and Kristen for their insights.

I've been on a Black Russian binge lately. It seems almost every time I'm getting a drink, that's what I'm craving. Last night might have ended it though. I had this crummy after-taste and it just tasted too sweet or something. I almost couldn't finish it and had to have a Newcastle chaser. Time for a new drink--any suggestions?

Playing: "Acetone" by The Crystal Method.

The sun is out today--but it's evil cold. It's almost beyond bad. Now, I'll admit that I am a cold pansy. I don't deal with the bitter wind very well. Which makes my last two places of residence even more absurd: Chicago and Michigan. The sun's being out helps my attitude and disposition a little bit, but it's not warming things up at all! And it's only January 15th. There's still 9 months of winter left here in Michigan!

I used to paint with a guy in college who used to say "It's simply too cold to live."
I don't own sweatpants. I have one sweatshirt. Lately I have seen a LOT of people around in public wearing sweats. I couldn't do it.
I need to stop biting my fingernails. I've started it up again the past month or so.
Confession: I watched almost a full episode of "Desperate Housewives" this past week. It was an accident, but I kept it on.
Confession: I sort of liked it.

Exit music: "Future History and the Irrelevance of Time" by The Sunshine Fix.

posted by -tr0y- @ 11:14 AM

Currently playing: "Baile Funk Two" by M.I.A./Diplo (thanks Thad for the hook-up)

For some reason I was really bugged by the abysmal driving today. Today was the day when everyone elected to avoid using their turn signals, make quick lane changes WITHOUT looking and then to drive very slowly once they were in front of me. No kidding--3 times that happened on the way home--and only one of those people was ancient! For all I know, he might have actually been in a coma and couldn't control what lane he was in at all... It's possible I guess. I typically don't complain about other people's driving, but it was awful today.

So I've been posting most often from this coffee shop that I've switched to--better atmosphere and drinks. A couple of minutes ago this girl started to clean up a table and i did this big double-take. No kidding--this girl looks just like Ashlee Simpson. I couldn't believe it. Other than a pretty sizable tatoo on the back of her arm that covers most of the visible skin, you would assume it's her. Though, I've no idea... Ash might have some nice ink too... But then I noticed that she actually cleaned her own tables, so it must not be Ashlee Simpson after all...

Anyone else not give a crap about the whole Jenn/Brad break-up? Besides the fact that she'll probably start calling me again, which is annoying.... But I'm worried that they just won't ever be able to get another date. I mean, look at them--they are DOGS! They found the only other person on the planet who could stand to look at them!! Forget about it from here on out...

Couple random facts about me: (sorry for how pretentious these next few sentences are going to be--though not sorry enough to avoid writing them I guess...)

I hate drinking from straws.
I read all the stuff written on bathroom stall doors--and it makes me laugh virtually every time.
I love clocks--like the ones with actual hands, not the digital ones.
I don't have one single clock in my house, besides the alarm clock.
I love tabasco sauce. I use it every chance I get!
I can't stand elastic on the end of sleeves. I keep my shirts unbuttoned on my wrists and can't wear a watch.

Earlimart is a great band and you should listen to them. Their record "Treble & Tremble" is definitely worth owning.

posted by -tr0y- @ 6:25 PM

Quick updates.

Six guys played poker this past Friday night. I won $1.60 and plan to head to Vegas immediately since I've proven myself so convincingly.

I spent Saturday night and most of Sunday in bad shape. I ate something early on Saturday that badly wanted to exit my body. I won't share any of the details--that's just the kind of guy I am.

Worked out kinda hard yesterday morning and bought a great new record last night: Silver Sunshine. If you like the Revolver ear Beatles, you would probably be into this band.

Had two strange dreams last night: one invovled my losing all my teeth, one by one, in a large crowd of people. I just kept tugging at them and they were popping out. I was so embarrased. The other dream involved snakes and my family. No one would believe me when I kept talking about the number of snakes crawling through our house. I was crying and so frustrated that no one would believe me.

Both dreams I have had multiple times before. I'm sure Lori will have some great interpretations for me.

Oh yeah, Hap-Hap-Happy Birthday to Lori.

posted by -tr0y- @ 11:51 AM