Sentimental Valium

I have some time this morning so I thought I would post about a couple things that have been on my mind--and fulfill one request.

First off, a piece of news. And rather than summarize it, I am simply going to include the entire article.


In Montana, Bald Is Now a Hair Color

HELENA, Montana (Reuters) In America's rugged West, a cowboy can still mask a thinning hairline under a hat, but today's outdoor sports enthusiast may have to admit to being bald.

The official Montana web site, www.discoveringmontana.com, now asks those applying for a hunting or fishing license for their hair color, and gives "bald" as one of the options alongside blond, black, gray, white, red and brown.

According to Rich Olsen, general manager of the Montana web site, the march of technology has brought the option into sharper focus.

"Bald" has been a selection on Montana hunting and fishing license applications since the 1970s, but the form was always filled out -- discreetly, it seems-- by a store clerk.

"For the last two months, applying for special draws, such as moose, sheep, or goats in a specific location, has been available on the web site, so that must be why people have noticed," said Olsen.

Makes me feel a little vindicated. That's so much better than the option I have right now: NA. Few things feel like more of an insult than "Not applicable" when there is a question about hair. This is the first time in my life--and probably the last time--that I am celebrating Montana. (Well, besides being able to drive 100 mph through there when I drove cross-country. I did enjoy that!)

New blogging friend!! My good friend Melissa has joined the blogging world. She's a clever writer and has made me laugh many times already in her short blogging "career." And she has done something I have yet to accomplish--she has mentioned Lionel Richie in her blog. I'm soooo jealous. Check her out.

OK, by Cait's request, I've been thinking about my least favorite animal movies. I haven't had enough time to fully present a well-thought-out commentary, but I can give at least a Top 5 Least Favorite Animal Movies. These will not include cartoons or necessarily have animals in the titles. But it must revolve primarily around an animal. And also, these are, currently, not in any order. I'm still thinking.

Top 5 Least Favorite Animal Movies.
1. "Babe" Remember this movie? A pig is raised as a dog by a border collie? I hate voice-over movies generally (see also those horrible Bruce Willis movies where he is the voice of the baby--grrrrrrrrr.) What shocks me is that in 1995, it got a Best Picture nomination.

2. "Turner and Hooch" I can say with confidence--NOT one of Tom Hanks' brightest moments. Too much spit for 90-some minutes. (I'm avoiding writing about "K-9" since it so closely resembles "Hooch," substituting Hanks with James Belushi, but an equally miserable movie.)

3. "Beethoven" Not to gang up on dogs, but this movie sucked too. I usually like Charles Grodin movies, just because he is creepy and very bizarre. But making Charles a "hero" against the evil veterinarian who wants to use the out-of-control Beethoven for experiments? Sorry--doesn't work for me.

4. "Scooby Doo" You cannot be serious. Someone actually thought it would be a good idea--or possible?!?!--to improve on a killer cartoon? And thought it would be a good idea to have Freddie Prinze Jr and Sarah Michelle Gellar be in it? Though the appearance of Mr. Bean was probably entertaining, but I wouldn't know because I refused to see this.

5. "Eight-Legged Freaks" Even the title is almost un-readable. A fantastic (*cough cough*) premise though--a hazardous material spill that contaminates a pond. Crickets from the pond are fed to some exotic arachnids and, well... all hell breaks loose. Mutant spiders wreak havoc on a small remote town called, just to make the tension greater, Prosperity. I really like Scarlett Johansson (who has a role that should have been bigger), but David Arquette has got to be one of the least convincing actors alive today. So what if you're married to Courtney Cox.

I'm sure I'll be able to think of more--but I wanted to give as well-rounded a selection as I could. Sorry that I basically ripped into dog movies. For what it's worth, I really did like the movie "Cujo" and that revolves around a dog.

Feel free to give your additions to crappy animal movies.

Shalom.

posted by -tr0y- @ 10:39 AM

Went to see "Day After Tomorrow" last night. (Hmmm.. strange sentence now that I read it.) My expectations were pretty low, therefore I was pleasantly surprised. Might be a sign of how to live my life--low expectations to avoid utter disappointment.

Anyway, the movie was mediocre. I was interested about the first 45 minutes. Everything from then on was pretty disappointing. On the ride home, my friend Aaron (yes--another Aaron. But not to be confused with Amish Aaron or aLink.) and I were talking about natural disaster movies. And I realized that all natural disaster movies are disasters in themselves. They all suck! So let's do a run-down.

1. Day After Tomorrow. Dennis Quaid is as unconvincing an actor in this movie as he was in that terrible baseball movie, "The Rookie." He should have stopped after "Any Given Sunday" and "Frequency." And besides the hotties, Jake Gyllenhaal and Emmy Rossum, I found little to keep my attention. Too many points of conflict made it literally unbelievable.

2. Armageddon. One thought: "I don't wanna miss a thing" is EXACTLY the opposite of my feelings about this movie. I wish I would have missed every second of it.

3. Dante's Peak. Pierce Brosnan, Linda Hamilton and flesh-searing magma: how come no one has come up with such a stirring formula for movies since? The suck-factor was high during this. AND--can a four-wheel-drive vehicle really travel over fire and molten lava without its tires bursting? Maybe if it's being driven by Bond, James Bond, and Q developed the tires.

4. Volcano. Tommy Lee Jones stars in this movie. I've never seen it. But here is what I know about it: it's a lower-budget version of "Dante's Peak" and it has Tommy Lee Jones and Anne Heche in it. I bet if I did see it, more than lava would be spewing.

5. Deep Impact. A great big rock falls to the earth and lots of people die. Robert Duvall is an astronaut and Morgan Freeman is the president of the United States. I can't believe I even wrote about this movie. It doesn't deserve the four lines it's getting.

6. Twister. HA! If only the characters in this movie weren't so poor created and acted, less flying barnyard animals, and fewer childhood family members being sucked into tornados, along with being an hour shorter, it might have been a decent movie. But none of those things can be changed--and neither can my feelings about this piece.

I would say this though--there are a few old films that were pretty compelling, even without the advanced technology and special effects:
1. The Towering Inferno
2. Earthquake
3. The Poseidon Adventure

I'm not even going to get into the crappy animal movies. I saw the previews for Anaconda 2 recently too. I don't like snakes--but I hate even more crappy movies about snakes. That's far more frightening.

Did I miss any movies? Anyone want to disagree with me?

posted by -tr0y- @ 3:47 PM

I wish I had a digital camera. I see things all the time, wishing I could capture it and show it to other people, instead of telling/writing about it.

I was driving to work the other day, I passed a Burger King that was "under construction." There were cones blocking the entrances and stuff and two big white kidnapper vans out in front. They were for a plumbing company. The name of the company: McDonald's Plumbing.

I laughed.

I've been celebrating this story the past few days of an eleven year old girl tired of the clothes she has to choose from when she goes shopping. I'm a big fan of people standing up for what they think is wrong (or right).

Heading to a film festival this weekend here in MI. I'm excited about two movies in particular:

1. Saved! Michael Stipe co-produced this farce (or is it simply an interpretation of teenage christianity?!? hmmmmm) and it's got a few big names: Mandy Moore and Macaulay Culkin. All that I have read about it seems amazing. And it's got that kid from "Almost Famous" in it too. It's sure to be the kind of movie that I will want to laugh at, but will be kind of afraid to. The website is very entertaining.

2. Riding Giants. This is a documentary about the history, evolution and eventual celebrity of surfing and the surfing culture. (Lots of Cali stuff Amish Aaron!!!) The film maker also did "Dogtown and the Z Boys," a great documentary about skateboarding. This movie isn't coming out for a while, but it's being shown this weekend and I cannot wait to check it out. I'll be sure to give a full (at least SOME kind of) report.

Shalom!

posted by -tr0y- @ 6:57 PM

Some pieces of news speak for themselves. I present to you the following:


Man Charged With Chalupa Assault

DES MOINES, Iowa - A man who claimed he didn't get the taco he paid for has been charged with assault for allegedly pelting a Taco Bell clerk in the face with a chalupa.

Nancy Harrison told police she was working the drive-through Thursday night when Christopher Lame, 24, ordered some food.

He later came into the store, complaining he didn't get the taco he had ordered, police records say. Harrison said that when she asked for a receipt, he went back to his car and brought back the bag.

Harrison said she told him the store was closing, and as she turned away, a chalupa hit her in the face near her right eye. She said she ran into the parking lot and took down the license number as the motorist was driving away.

Lame was identified through the license number.

He is scheduled to appear in court June 15.


Appropriate last name huh?

posted by -tr0y- @ 9:32 AM

Current song: "Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth" by The Dandy Warhols.

Busy weekend. Drove to see Amish Aaron and the girls. ALWAYS life-giving to be with them. We sat around and talked Friday night--and got drowsy and sleepy together. I'm convinced there are few signs of how comfortable you are with someone than that. If you can be sitting around and feel tired and just let yourself fall asleep--that speaks volumes about how you feel in that person's presence. I want more people like that in my life. Then Saturday we played nine holes of golf. AA bought a new car too. All that in a little more than 24 hours. Then I drove back to GR and cleaned up the place. Hung out at the GR Arts Festival Sunday afternoon. Saw a couple mediocre/crummy bands playing. Looked at some below-average folk art. Did see some good Celtic art and a VERY entertaining band called "Potatoe Babies." They were a three-piece with a female bass player. The "frontman" looked a little like an older Rivers Cuomo and played an OLD Strat with a toilet paper roller on the end of the body that people would run up and unwind during songs. The tent they were playing in was filled with TP. AND they brought a clown with them who was making balloon animals and stuff for the kiddies. To top it all off, they handed out free rolls of toilet paper. I laughed and stood there kind of transfixed. I couldn't stop watching.

I'll write more later--probably should work though.

Shalom.

posted by -tr0y- @ 9:57 AM