Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Currently playing: "The Ballad Of Michael Valentine" by The Killers.

I haven't written much about my fellow "house-mates." I live in a rather old house that has been retro-fitted with four separate apartments. I really like it. I have a large first floor place with high ceilings and a big window facing the street. I'm happy there. I know virtually everyone in the house and get along with them well. Recently, the apartment above me was rented again and a new couple moved in there--Ed and Randy. Yep, a couple. They have actually been pretty nice. When I got home last night, there was a plate of muffins sitting next to the piles of mail for each apartment. A cute little dot-matrix sign was hanging that said "Happy Holidays to EVERYONE in this house! Take one" with an arrow pointing towards the plate of goodies. It's a nice sentiment and I appreciated it. There is something about those guys that I don't appreciate though: their obsession with the vaccum.

Now, I'm a pretty clean person. I do my own share of vacuuming and I can appreciate a clean floor. Don't get me wrong. What I just can't figure out is why they decide this particular household chore has to be done at 7:15 AM! It's happened a ton of times. If I could reach the ceiling, I might smash a broom up against it a few times just to remind them know someone is below them. Once I was thinking locially I realized it wouldn't last long--the living room portion isn't very big so they would be finished soon. And they were.

And then they moved right outside and started to shovel and scape the front steps.

In other words, I was up early this morning.

I ran out of wiper fluid this morning. This is a bad time for that. My perfectionistic tendencies struggle with the windshield being slightly dirty. It was nighttime as far as I could tell--that's how dirty the windshield was. I was trying to drive behind semi trucks so I could get their spray and get a little something splashed against the glass. Little things often frustrate me most. (I'm pretty sure I've posted about that before so I won't get too deep into it...)

Big Happy Birthday greetings go out to Kristi! I hope, during this tough time of life, that today you can be surrounded by people who love you and will remind you that you are not alone. *winks* for you!!

Two closing words:



Monday, December 20, 2004

Currently playing: "Tinkerbell" by Noe Venable.

I've mentioned before about my bizarre dreams and I got some great interpretation feedback. Most of the thoughts, I'll be honest, scared me. Some were accurate and that's scary enough--but some were CRAZY and that scares me for those who gave the feedback. Well I'm going to try it again... Here is the newest of the screwed-up-ness of my mind...

So I was working in a grocery store. I was a butcher--complete with the bloody apron and little paper hat. I don't remember if I was using gloves--but I've been typically pretty hygiene-conscious in my previous dreams, so let's just assume I was. My co-workers consisted of two people: a former girlfriend (that I "affectionately" call The Princess) and Ann B. Davis (of Brady Bunch fame as Alice). Ann and I were in a pretty heated debate about how to most effectively move forward in our other partnership: starting an independent music label. I know I kept waving a "messy" hatchet at her when we were arguing, all the time wondering if Princess was watching me and wishing she had never messed things up between us. (Isn't it weird when you dream and can pick up on both what is happening on the outside AND what you are thinking in the dream. It's this weird 'thinking-about-thinking' dynamic.... Bizarre!!)

So have at it friends--explain my sub-conscience for me please.

Currently playing: "Canada" by Cary Brothers. (for my friends up north: Liz and Kristi)

The snow is here. I fish-tailed today onto my street and up my driveway. It was nice around noon today as I was looking out the window and seeing the flakes float slowly to the ground. What I don't look forward to are the days when the snow has turned to a dirty grey slush. But I shouldn't complain much yet--there are still months of this kind of weather left. (And sorry to c@it for complaining about what you wish you had....)

I was listening to the iPod as I was running this morning. It was one of those times when a song I've heard a billion times hit me in a brand new way. It's almost like I had never heard the lyrics before this morning. Or maybe it's hitting me now because I'm wrestling with the true meanings of success and happiness.... Anyway, the lyric:

I have a friend back home
Who likes to sleep all day
He packs his pipe - reflects on life
And dreams his debt away
He still lives with his parents
Just like he always has
He may not always know it
But he's happy at last

I wouldn't be content in that particular situation, but something struck me deeply when I heard that. I want to be happy on my own terms--I don't want to base my level of contentedness (word?) on how straight my teeth are, how clear my skin is or tight my abs are; I don't want my car, clothes, apartment/house to be more than what they simply are--things I have that make my life a little easier. I know this is nothing profound--and I'm probably stealing most of my thoughts from Fight Club... These ideas have just come up a lot lately in different conversations.

Got my first Christmas card in the mail today. Thanks Lisa.

I'm working on this year's resolutions. I've decided to approach it differently this time around. Why are most of our resolutions the kinds of things we aren't sure we want to do? Lose weight, work out more, spend more time reading, etc etc etc. Think about it--these are things we think we should do, but do we really want to do them? I'm tired of making resolutions that way. No wonder I keep so few of them--I'm not compelled to do that stuff! So I'm starting a new kind of resolution list. It's going to include things I wouldn't mind doing--but if I don't keep them, there's no harm done. Here is the start of my list:

1. I'm going to get a lot of free stuff in 2005 (drinks, CDs, food, clothes... all the things that matter most)
2. I'm going to blame more people for things.
3. I'm going to speed more while I'm driving.
4. Actually, I'm going to generally ignore most traffic laws and postings.
5. I'm going to complain more when I'm in restaurants--especially by filling out those comment cards. (This will be one of the ways I accomplish resolution #1. See, I'm intentional here!)
6. I'm going to make more prank phone calls--exclusively using other people's cell minutes.
7. I'm not going to buy toilet paper in advance. I plan to buy it one roll at a time and only get more once the current roll has made its way to the cardboard spool.
8. I'm going to wink at people more often and use badly outdated expressions. (Winking is a lost art in my opinion!!)

That's a pretty good start I think. Now that I think about it, I might actually feel GOOD if I don't keep some of these resolutions.

That's freedom!

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